Some questions do not have answers

Streak of Tarnish

I used to be very close to a guy friend once upon a time. Then somehow it all just ended after he got together with a girl. One day I was his best friend, the next day it was as if we didn't know each other anymore. Probably because he spent a lot of time with her and therefore did not have the time to spend with me. Or maybe it is my fault because I did not work hard enough to sustain the relationship.

Now things between us is pretty strained. We still keep in contact - if you can call it contact when a person only calls you up when he needs something from you. At first I really resented the fact that a friend would call you up just because he wants something from you. Then I realised that maybe all of us do it sometime or other. It's a natural thing to do when you need something. Whatever the case, I still grieve over the loss of a friend who taught me a lot who is now no longer part of my life. Once in a while I miss the times we spent with each other just vegging out, watching movies, eating cake, talking about the meaning of life and fantasizing about our future.

One of the gifts I got from him is a silver necklace that I still have now. There's a streak of tarnish on it - I do not know how it got there. It has resisted all efforts to be removed - even after I sent it to be professionally cleaned. It stayed clean for a while and the streak remained. I feel as if it's a permanent mark - a sign that the friendship is forever stained and cannot be made whole again.

posted by Evelyn at 11:44 PM