Some questions do not have answers

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Numero Uno

Sometimes I feel like an outsider.

Some may say that I brought it on myself - investing my time the wrong way with the wrong people at the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes I think maybe it is my own fault - a defect in my personality somewhere.

I think the reason why many people would love to have a relationship with someone is because then you can be No.1 to the person - and that person can be your No.1. And this isn't really just about romantic relationships - even friendships. Having a best friend means you're the most important friend in their life, the way they are your most important friend. The person you're going to depend on when the rest of the world has abandoned you and when you really need someone to be there. Not just some superficial acquaintanceship (is that even a word?) where when the going gets tough, you're left alone - hollow and cold.

Tired of being No. 2.

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